The REAL Mad Knight
by Fleece Johnson
Summary: When a new servant is summoned into Chaldea, can the few residence summoned put up with this crazy new arrival? How can they save the world under these conditions?
1. Chapter 1: The madness begins

Ritsuka Fujimaru also known Gudako stood eagerly by her servant and friend Mash Kyrielight as they prepared to summon a new servant in their struggle against Solomon.

"Oh I can't wait! I hope we get someone new." Gudako said with excitement gleaming in her eyes.

"Yes senpai." Mash replied with a slight smile, the excitement coming off of Gudako was quite contagious even though Mash had her reservations, especially given her master's luck in summoning anything useful. She had a tendency to pull black keys for some reason. Despite this Chaldea had a budding population of servants and hopefully one more could be added to the growing list of heroic spirits fighting for humanity.

They only had around 17 servants, with the most notable among them being King Artoria Pendragon, Mordred the Knight of Treachery, though Mash would never call her that to her face. Lancelot Knight of The Lake and... Actually now that she thought about it many of the servants seemed to be Arthurian related. Could it have anything to do wi-

"OH IT'S STARTING!" Gudako shouted interrupting her thoughts as the magic circle lit up and began channeling magic. They both watched with different levels of anticipation as the circle starting spinning faster and faster turning golden! That was a good sign! The circle finally exploded in a shimmer of gold light that scattered throughout the room... and in the center of that was... "A NEW SERVANT!?" Gudako screeched again in Mash's ear, but while Gudako did a celebratory dance, Mash was too focused on the servant and how...lame he looked.

He was a thin, lanky looking man in...was that supposed to be armor? It looked like it had been sitting somewhere for years unattended. His helmet was a haphazardly shambled together mixture of a helmet and...IS THAT CARDBOARD?! ...He is actually wearing cardboard or something in place of a proper visor. His shield looked so pitiful compared to hers it was just a little buckler. His sword at his hip appeared to have nicks in it as well, Mash would have commented more on his outrageous outfit until she remembered her own. Still he is very lackluster, especially compared to the servants they already have in living around Chaldea. But maybe he made up for that in strength?

It was at this time Gudako pulled away from her dance to finally notice the servant she had summoned, she was even more dumbfouned than Mash was at his appearance however before she could comment on it the servant spoke.

" **I AM HERE TO ASSIST YOU!"**

"AH MY EARS!" Gudako screamed, holding her hands over said ears.

" **I ASK OF YOU! ARE Y-"**

"STOP SCREAMING!" Gudako screamed... again. Mash was sure she would have a headache from all this later...

The servant stopped...and appeared to be studying the two of them. Before he started trembling a bit, and then suddenly collapsing on his hands and knees!

"Are you okay!" Gudako started to run over, Mash moved to stop her with a "Senpai, you shouldn't ru-". Before again being interrupted by the servant, though at a much tolerable volume.

"Lo! to have my vision assailed by two beautiful and fair maidens such these. Please forgive this knight for his earlier outburst! I ask of ye, which amoungst ye is my master so that this humble knight may pledge his services to a lady, like the days of yore! When chivalry was common place and justice reigned over all the lands!"

...

...

"...Uh me, I am your master." with much hesitation Gudako finally spoke up.

"Then this knight! Known as the class Berserker shall pledge his loyalty unto ye and only ye! And know that for as long as I stand that no harm shall befall you, for whenever a fair lady is in trouble I shall be there to-" As the now known as Berserker continued his tirade Gudako pulled Mash aside for a word.

"I think this guys got chuunibyou syndrome or something, I mean did you hear how he talked? Not even Artoria acted like that"

"Yes senpai but well...He is a berserker after all..."

"Yeah and? Lancelot isn't anywhere near this bad as a berserker, all he does is scream about Artoria."

"Yes but... I just thin-" and so for the third time since the summoning started, Mash was interrupted...again.

"What art thou conversing about? Is there anything that this knight can do to assist?" Berserker asked, and though they could not see his face you could practically feel the enthusiasm leaking off his scrawny form with fists on his hips, chest puffed like some gallant hero.

"Uh yeah, first move back your way too close." He did so without hesitation still in that same stupid pose. "Secondly, who are you."

"Why you cannot tell? Does my blazing armor and honorable form not give it away? That is middling, as I cannot expect a lady such as yourself to know who I am-" Before he could finish however Gudako spoke up.

"What do you mean you can't expect that of me, are you implying something?"

"What? No!?" He replied gasping. "I simply meant that given the situation you find yourself in that you may not have had the time to study my epic legend, I would never deign my master, but surely once you hear my name you will know who I am!"

"An epic legend huh? Okay then who are you?" Seemingly satisfied Gudako pressed on with the original question. He seemingly paused letting the tension build before answering.

"Well master you have the honor of summoning **DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA**!"

...

...

"Who?" Gudako asked. And for the second time that evening the newest berserker of Chaldea was on his hands and knees.


	2. Chapter 2: The quest for knowledge

Mash sighed internally glancing at cause of her frustration beside her, Chaldea's newest servant. When he was orginally summoned she held back her judgments, but after learning who he was she new that he was going to be a pain to deal with.

After seemingly being defeated at Senpai's revelation regarding his story being unknown, he quickly recovered and began a long. LONG story of all his exploits seemingly telling everything as some grand epic, her Senpai being the story loving, heroic fawning person she was listened with rapt attention, eyes sparkling during the highlights of his story, and saddened by any troubles that befell Don Quixote and his noble squire Sancho Panza. However Mash knew. She knew that while this story wasn't a lie it wasn't correct either, her Senpai seemingly forgot that he was a berserker and that for all his epic boasting Don Quixote was insane. He didn't raise his shield and withstand a barrage of arrows by an army, it was peasants throwing stones. He didn't slay giants he charged windmills. His horse wasn't better than Alexander's Bucephalas, Rocinante was an old work horse!

Even so she couldn't break the news to her Senpai. Seeing how happy she looked at her new servant and all his supposed exploits brought a smile to her own face, so she suppose she could simply let it all slide. When Senpai asked her to take the newest servant to his room while she went to talk to Roman about getting the Rayshift ready to "Test this knight's power!" as she put it, she agreed. It went well for the most part. Sir Quixote, as she started calling him, could actually talk which was a step up from their other berserker. They talked about mundane things, life in Chaldea and its history and all was well... Till they reached the first door.

It was at this point Sir Quixote moved to open said door for Mash declaring "No true knight would allow a lady to pass through without help!"...Only for it to open by itself. Seemingly shocked at this, his suprise soon turned to anger, screaming about how his chance to impress had been wrongfully taken from him. Mash tried to explain the concept of automatic doors and how he should know this already but it was no use, the door was destoyed leaving a bewildered Mash and a satisfied Quixote to pass through its remains.

This charade continued with four more doors, the last two Mash was able to save from destruction by a combination of exaggerating their purpose, acting as if they held back a great evil and as such must not be destroyed and simply acting like he had opened them for her thus feeding into his "knightly" fantasy, until they thankfully and finally reached his room, those doors would have to be fixed later... "Thank you kindly Lady Mash, without your assistance I surely would be lost! This place and its halls rival that of the famous Labyrinth of Greek myth!" Don said somehow looking thankful through his helmet. "Oh it was no problem Sir Quixote and...I don't think it's that bad either. You'll get used to it eventually I'm sure." Mash said. "Very well, I shall take your word for it Lady Mash" Quixote said moving into his room, Mash continued with "Try to lose some of the archaic words you use, and remember Senpai wants to see what you can do, the rayshift will be ready sometime later, so just stay here." Mash stated with a somewhat serious face.

"Yes, I shall prepare my mind and body for the trials of combat, I assure you Lady Mash that our master shall find I am quite the-" Was all Quixote was able to say before the door closed on him. Mash could still hear him talking through the door he apparently didn't notice. "Uh.. I need to be going Sir Quixote I'll see you later...I suppose." Mash said though she doubted he heard her it still felt wrong leaving and not saying anything and with that Mash carried on to attend with her duties.

"For it is what a true knight would do." Quixote finished, it is then he noticed Mash had left. "Oh well, what a nice and charming woman she is. My master is lucky to have one skilled in defense such as she, though it truely speaks ill of the times when a woman is called to arms! The situation must be dire indeed! **BUT NEVER FEAR FOR DON QUIXOTE OF LA MANCHA IS HERE!"** Quixote screaming. Thankfully Gudako had the foresight to put him in one of the empty rooms far from other servants. Feeling quite full of energy and vigor Quixote took a look around the room he was placed in, it was one of the many spare rooms for masters that according to Mash were currently incapable. As such it had a bed with a nighstand next to it in the right hand corner of the room. Along the wall towards the middle of the room sat a bookshelve that laid bare with no books or baubles on it. "Hmm. This won't do, this won't do at all! How am I expected to perform my duties with no stories of chivalry to tide me over and improve myself as a knight, for a knight never ceases to improve oneself! I must set out immediately and procure stories of virtue and valor!" And so completely disregarding what Mash had asked of him Quixote set out into Chaldea. unfortunately for Quixote he had no idea if such a place even exist nor where to even begin, but did that deter King Arthur in his quest for the grail? "No!" Quixote thought and so he continued his journey, he came across many perials such as the great fifteen gate barrier, probably set up by his nemesis the sorcerer. These gates were the very same that had humilated him in front of Mash earlier and according to Mash must not be destroyed, he had approached them with great hesitation, fearing the evil Mash had spoke of, he noticed when he reached a certain range they would open, freezing he watched and after a certain amount of time it closed. He then devised his strategy of simply rushing through the door after it had opened and it worked! Truely he was a grand strategist filled to the brim with martial prowess worthy of being called a knight!

The next great challenge was a grand stretch of hallway, which in its desolace rivaled that of the great Sahara, he never thought he would see the day he would finally make it through that long stretch of empty hallway. The next challenge was even tougher for him to overcome, it was a hallway and at first he feared it would be like the last, until he noticed the wall. It had great wide windows shining light gems in the halls artifical light and outside of those windows was one of the most beautiful sights he had laid witness to. The amount of snow dancing in the wind was enchanting, like nymphs putting on a show just for him, it took all his willpower not to simply stand and stair. His only regret in leaving was the fact his lady Dulcinea del Toboso was not here to see it as well, "Oh how she would have loved its beauty, though it could **NEVER** match hers!" Quixote though as he continued in his quest for knowledge. This next challenge was one of wits, he came at a cross-roads, left or right? "Right is always right and just, but left might have unforseen treasures...Truely this is a test that could match that of the Sphinx riddle.." So lost in thought was he that he did not notice the approaching figure "Right! Right it is then!" Quixote exclaimed smacking right into the said figure "OOF! Wh-who goes there!" Quixote said backing up and taking a look at the figure who so rudely attacked him.

It was a man. A knight too much like himself, though this knight had taken a different approach in terms of armor. Towering over Quixote in black armor with a red highlighted visor cutting an intimidating and impressive figure indeed. This knight then screamed letting out a mighty " **ARTHURRRRR!"**

"...Ah I understand now sorry for assuming you had come to challenge me, a knight such as yourself is also questing? I too am questing in the pursuit of knowledge that I may better myself in the virtues of chivalry I am Sir Don Quixote of La Mancha, come let us share tales of valor and honor!" Most people would have taken a look at Lancelot and either fled out of fear or simply ignored him due to his madness. Quixote was not like most people, somehow he managed to gleam that Lancelot had once been a knight. And in Quixotes eyes he still is. Whether or not Lancelot can regonize that is another issue entirely, regardless Lancelot responded with a "Shhhhhuuuuu..." Quixote stared at him for a second before letting out "Wahahaha! Are you a jester as well as a knight?! I have not heard such words of cold truth delivered with such wit since traveling with my squire! Regardless of the truths you speak, I need to know something..." Quixote left a pregnant pause hang in the air, Lancelot seemingly focused on the man. "Canyouguidethishumbleknighttothelibraryplease!" Quixote forced out this plea quickly, in truth he hated asking for help but only a fool would deny it. Lancelot let out another mighty yell " **Gaaaaaaaaa!** Ahrrrr…Ohrrrrr... Uaaaaaaaaa!" Before abruptly turning 180 degrees and going in the direction he originally came from. " **THANK YOU FOR THE ASSIST!"** Don screeched matching Lancelot's volume as he trotted behind him. Nearby Doctor Romani quivered in his office after hearing a brief but loud shouting match "What the hell was that all about..." He said to himself.

The long travel to the library was made short by pleasant company, Quixote would tell parts of his epic legend and the now identified knight Lancelot would respond with various noises dictating his delight or questions. It was a comical sight, a fool dressed in shoddy armor enthusiastically talking to the black armored berserker as if they were long lost friends. As mad as he was that did not stop Lancelot from appreciating the company, as little as he could actually make out. Being filled with grief, regret, and hate did not make many approach the knight. It had taken a command seal to reign him under control once learning Artoria was also here...Oh how he wished he could talk to her...Not the other him but he himself, alas Lancelot had managed to figure out that if he could not attack her he would avoid her as the mere sight of her would drive him into a frenzy, one that he could not act upon. Despite being as mad as he was he still managed to appreciate Chaldeas newest arrival talking to him even if most of what he said just translated to noise. It was nice to be in the company of others for a change... They had finally reached a big double door, that unlike the others one must push open. "I thank you for guiding me here Sir Lancelot, after gathering some books please allow me to return the favor! For no just deed should go unrewared!" Quixote stated, mimicing that stupid pose he had made earlier in the summoning room. "Shshshshshsuuuu..." Lancelot seemingly replied and began to move away from the door. "Oh..I'll be seeing you then!" Quixote waved as Lancelot left feeling a tad dissapointed his new friend did not want to read with him. Regardless Quixote steeled himself and moved to the door, taking a deep breath in anticipation for all the stories he would read he kicked the door and jumped into the room!

...Glancing around he noticed long distinct tables that one would eat on rather than read, he noticed two groups as well and a kitchen in the back end of the room. After quickly gathering his thoughts he said "This is the cafeteria! Not the library!" The two groups then noticed the new arrival. Giving him looks that said "Are you stupid" or "Thank you captain obvious". Quixote froze. He was in enemy territory with two unknown groups...Well one group, the other "group" only had one person in it. He thought about what he could do in this dire situation before his stomach growled out-loud..."Huh, I really feel quite hungry."


End file.
